im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
