I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
