I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
