I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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