What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
