you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
