No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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