Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
