is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize