just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize