white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
