I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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