I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
