fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
