I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
