It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just blew my weed a kiss
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
