2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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