Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
