Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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