She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
