Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize