So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
