i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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