Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
