You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
