He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
