I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize