Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
