I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize