Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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