u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
