And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
