Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
