I'm lost and stupid without you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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