Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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