He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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