you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There's always time for handjobs
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
