We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
