yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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