Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize