And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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