Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
