You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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