DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
