The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
