You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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