I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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