if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I got inside last night via doggy door
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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