last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
