Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
