If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
