Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I know her cup size but not her name....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
