the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
