cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
