So drunk its hurt
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize