and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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