just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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