how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
