it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My ATM looks so different sober.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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