Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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