Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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