Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
