She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
