Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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