shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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