How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
