Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
