I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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