oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
