I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
