btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Success! We fucked roommates!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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